Family Matters | When Mr. Right is Bright

(Part 2 of Finding Mr. Right)

On our last issue, we discussed how to find Mr. Right. I guess we have made it clear that to find the best mate is to be still and allow God to work on the right circumstances so that Mr. Right will find you sane and sound. Now the question is, how will a man seeking for his mate follow the right path so that this journey in life does not become complicated spared from unnecessary heartaches?

Our aim here is for you, young man, to find the best mate that we call God’s best and not the second best. Do you know the feeling when you see a lady for the first time and boom! Suddenly, the sky turns pink, the pavement becomes gold and stars are everywhere. You cannot sleep and you think about how to see her again at all costs. Let me tell you this. That feeling is not love but it is plain infatuation. Well, the feeling is good, but let me gently remind you again that love is not a feeling but a decision. Sleep over the good feeling because who knows, you might have based that feeling on what you saw. Mistakes come one after the other if we are not very careful.

Let me remind you again that ladies are more vulnerable (although sometimes you are, too) than men. Majority of them feel deeply, and many times they fall into the trap of reading signals between the lines. So most often, their feelings show because ‘they perceived, or sometimes felt’ the special attention. I cringe, when I see young men seemingly and innocently hug or put their arms around the shoulders of girls they know. Gentlemen should not do that. They must know how to control their urges and hands, and place them on their sides where they belong in front of a girl. Even if you say that it is just an innocent hug, you know and she knows that some switches are turned on. If you are a gentleman, do not do extra special things only to one lady when you have no intention to pursue a relationship. Do it to everybody, from the lesser candidate of women you like to the most potential. A sensitive lady would notice the bias easily.

To ladies, try to know how the man treats her mother. If he doesn’t show love, honor and respect to her mother forget about him. He has to learn the basics of truly loving, honoring and respecting at home. He is not a good marrying material. When you are married, expect the same treatment that he does to his mother.

Gentlemen, do not say that precious word, ‘I love you’ to a young lady anytime and anywhere. They are responsibly uttered only to a person you intend to marry. Oh well, please don’t say things like, I just want to be honest and she ought to know how I feel. Feelings are better unsaid rather than saying that word ‘ I love you’, which when said should be followed by the more serious proposal of “will you marry me?” because the words ‘I love you’ that is said to a woman is sacred.

Now, when you are ready, and all the hormonal urges and starry eyes are out of the way, look for the woman
” … With the imperishable character of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God.”
Remember what the Lord said to Samuel the prophet?

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7
When the feelings subside, ask God to clear your mind, and for Him to speak to you like He did to Samuel. Now you are ready to find ‘Wonder Woman ‘, the one who keeps wondering where is the right man. She is actually among the crowd where women of likemindedness with ‘gentle and quiet spirit’ gather and not in overnight drinking parties. I assure you, she is there in that small gathering busy of what God wants her to do. Yes, young man, you are bright when you do things right!

Posted in Opinion