FAMILY MATTERS| Spread your plume and bloom

IT IS awesome to watch a bird spread its colorful plume as it glides in the sky or perched on a rock for a bird enthusiast to see. So beautifully independent, happy and secure that its identity is not dependent on external factors, for its beauty is inherent. Thoughtfully, this writer has in mind the singles of today, who are unmarried by chance or by choice. By chance, I mean about the probability and expectation is nil because it is just so. The usual ‘why and who’ question remains to be unanswered and no amount of bawling and pining would bring this single’s desire to be fulfilled. Those times when he or she by the age of twenty five or so says,

“I’m ready, Lord.”

Time passes by until the age of thirty and says,

“I am still waiting, Lord.”

Then one day wakes up at forty or so and says,

“Where are you, Lord?”

I know those words by heart as this writer married some few months before she turned forty.

Being single is a status that could make or break the area of submission to one’s state. If you ask what I have learned then, I can say that it was knowing my true goal in life. If my goal then was to marry my ideal man, then I could have fallen into the trap of being short sighted. When one has achieved the goal and married, then what? It doesn’t end up to be a life goal, but just a means to an end. Indeed, life is amazing as it allows us to discover life itself and not just a change of status.

So this brings us to a higher plane of achieving one’s real goal whether one is single or married. But sometimes life can be so tricky that obstacles hide the true meaning of life. They come so subtly and are easily overlooked. Loneliness is one of them and oh, once it sets in, it seems to appear larger than the actual need.

Another is the feeling of being isolated, when one is single. ‘Why is everyone married and I am not?’ Maybe, if he or she listens intently to some who are married, they may also be asking,

” Why did I ever marry? I wish I am still single.” So, we again go back to individual longings that can not be answered by changing a status.

There are more countless reasons yet one that can not be missed is the longing for security. Security doesn’t only come in financial needs but many aspects are also included, like safety, emotional emptiness and companionship. But times have changed. Life is more simplified that has encouraged independence. No wonder, today, it is already acceptable for one to marry at their 40′s or 50′s as one desires and as a choice. And some choose to be single, unmarried and satisfied. Well, this writer has two siblings who have chosen to be single, and one, a widow who has not remarried, all now in their 60′s yet they know their goals in life. They are very independent, funny, witty and yes, fashionable. They are fun to be with and have come to discover the true meaning of what should be valued most, since God has so many things to offer in this journey called life. True, they too have their own woes, yet they can laugh away their sorrows as they know that God is in control. One thing for sure, He is never unfair and thinks only the best for everyone. As He affirms, “But let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice ( fairness) and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD.”- Jeremiah 9:24

With this in heart, we can spread our plume and bloom! Yes, married or single. A joyful weekend to all!

Posted in Opinion