FAMILY MATTERS| A PROCESS OF HEALING

EVERYONE has experienced the loss of a loved one, and the process is not easy to some. The degree of loss and mourning is usually equated with the depth of the relationship. I have known friends who seemed to never get over the loss of a son. The routine of the family had been disrupted as the family had to go to the cemetery almost every night to visit the grave. Friends wondered until when the mourning would last. Nobody knew, but they patiently waited. Until after one year and a half, the whole family began to pickup to their old routine. Although the pain still lingered, but slowly, they began to move on and allow new experiences build new memories.

My best friend Au, lost her husband to a vicious cancer some few years ago. She had many beautiful dreams with her husband Dave, but both of them were separated by death. For almost three to four years, she longed to join her husband . Then, she met new friends in church who are in a widower and widow’s group. They could identify each other’s losses and they healthily healed each other. Now, she beams with joy as she says that her life is in God’s hand. Her husband is in a better place to wait while she does what God assigns her to do yet on earth.

Sometimes, to some people’s insensitive ways, mourning and grieving should be done fast and quick. Their twisted Christian perspective pushes a grieving person to the edge of a cliff and put God in a box by saying that Christians should not mourn. True, they believe that we rejoice because our loved one is with Jesus. There is no question where the one who died should be, depending on the choice he or she made while alive. But it is very insensitive to say “move on” when we have no idea how deep the loss has been inflicted. We can not quantify either how long one should grieve. It is how much one takes in day after day the comfort God gives. To be healed and comforted depends on how well you have grieved. Even God will not push one to heal fast. He would just sit beside the one mourning, weeps with the person and promising His presence until the pain subsides. After all, tears are made to express sorrow, and solitude is important to know the Comforter.

Such is life, we learn to grieve, to be healed and move on at the proper time. For those who know God in a personal way, the expression, ” knock on wood” does not apply to thwart death. For death comes at the appointed time, the same way that comfort is fulfilled by the One who knows grief and sorrow and suffering beyond anyone can imagine. Because He died with all the sorrows and pain, He is now alive to comfort those who are grieving.

Posted in Opinion