FAMILY MATTERS| Finding love in the wrong places

IT IS hearts month and one of the most expensive one day celebration. Flowers have tripled in prices,  chocolates  are out in grocery shelves and restaurants are full of customers celebrating the occasion.  I hate to be a killjoy, yet it still amuses me but  with pity how very many people, (or is it just in the Philippines? ) await so much for this 24 hour celebration to be victims of consumerism, some shallow feelings and loving without limits . They say that the feeling is in the air. but I feel sad when one treats love as just an emotional thing.  A kind of feeling that is emotional that jerks the heart and sees stars when there are none. I wish I give justice to describe this beautiful feeling, yet there is more justice when it is placed in its proper perspective.

I would rather describe love as a decision one is willing to pursue. It is not a one day love at first sight, but rather a mentally calculated risk yet willing to be committed for the sake of the other. Love knows how to wait and its sexual expression should be consummated in the context of marriage.  Mature people who intend to trust God for a happy marriage know how to control their sexual urges before marriage. Why is this not discussed in homes anymore?

I am not a stone either not to know the pleasures of physical intimacy, neither am I prude and belong to the old school.  But I do believe in respecting the bodies of the one you love until marriage comes as a reward because you were willing to wait. But hey, I also am aware of the ” Law of Diminishing Return.”  This is just a result of cause and effect as a consequence of being too emotional and physical that regret comes at the end. The ” Law of Diminishing Return” happens when physical excitement is as good initially. But then the same stimulation deadens after and one demands for higher volt to express the so called “love.” Until they know it, their full expression of love has gone beyond limits which should only be expressed in marriage. Because this became common in this generation, people think it now to be the norm.

This is one reason why this writer was a bit alarmed when news were out that the certain authorities planned to distribute condoms to senior high school students in case they have dates during the Valentines Day and go all the way to what  parents and grandparents wouldn’t even want to think  about. Are they serious? Have we ran out of ways to persuade the younger generations to learn chastity? Have we become a hopeless case that teaching children about purity is no longer an option? I cry just to think about this irresponsible solution of these supposedly responsible leaders. May God have mercy on them, who are short sighted by pushing the youths to sure disaster and say that an obvious wrong expression of love becomes right.

Well, so much of the sure death of chastity, many relationships are broken and families suffer because love is not understood of its true meaning. Sometimes, one says “I love you”, yet unknowingly, he or she means, I need a relationship with you because you fill up what I want. Or maybe, your heart skips and you are sleepless at night just thinking of the object of your affection, and you call that love. When this is reciprocated by the other, the relationship continues.

They either pursue marriage or end up in disaster because of unwanted pregnancy, separation and confusion. We who still want to save this generation must define love as  not to be equated with sex.  Happy are those who are willing to learn from their mistakes, make adjustments and teach our young ones the true meaning of love. Yes, love is a decision and a commitment to wait, respect and put the other over and above our desires. I am sure that it is not yet late to put love in its right place.  Happy hearts month!

Posted in Opinion