FAMILY MATTERS| Defining role in marriage

MARRIAGE is meant to last until death separates a couple. At least majority who decide to marry have this in mind to start with good intentions. The same way that a couple wouldn’t say “I do” to each other with the plan to breakup in the future. It is actually the day in and day out experiences that determine how strong the marriage would last. The good times and bad times are equally considered. The good times put a ready smile to a couple. The bad times, tho painful at times but made each other to be better persons and learned lessons to be a better spouse for the other.

A wrong understanding of marriage set up from the very start needs a quick resuscitation. It is clear even in the Bible that both should leave their families and cleave to become one. From there, they begin to build a new family. It is said that no two queens can stay in one house. The same must be true to two kings living in the same household. So, it is clearly understood that a couple must build their own home, without any party making decisions for them. And neither should any of them run to their own parents when conflict arises. The same way that the parents should stay away from decisions only the young couple should solve.

In some cases, when one is not ready to leave the family he or she grew up with, this becomes an issue to both of them. The unwilling partner to leave his or her former home is not really ready to build a family. Thus for sure, conflict arises and if this is not resolved, separation is easy to predict.

When the man and woman have settled into their new home, both should agree who makes final decisions for the family, and this should be the man. It doesn’t mean that the wife can not have a say on things that matter in their home. Both of them should weigh things together, and the man makes the final decision. If the wife feels that the decision of the husband is wrong, it would be better for her to be quiet and believe that God can also speak into her husband’s heart. After all, the husband is accountable to God for the decision he made. Remember Adam and Eve? Satan enticed Eve and she disobeyed God after which she shared the fruit to Adam. But when God came, it was Adam that He called out not the wife. God knew what happened and designed Adam to have made the decision or at least reprimanded Eve not to fall into sin of disobedience. At least, he should have acted as the leader in the relationship. The first sin happened then when the man whom God designed to lead his home failed. How many families have we seen to have failed because the man did not assume his role as how God intended him to be? Or how many marriages were broken because the wife usurped the role intended for the husband? Only God knows how to heal the children of these parents because of the confused roles their parents have assumed.

Indeed, it matters a lot to start a home with both the wife and husband take their proper roles. Sometimes, both of them fail and forget but in marriage we can also find rooms to forgive, to try again and love the same spouse over and over again.

Posted in Opinion